Snow Day

Snow days are a gift from the gods. A free day. A day when you can't leave the house, can't drive, can't even walk safely. I would love to buy some more food for the birds, but must content myself to watch them forage. They have stripped the fennel bare already. It is cold, but the sky is clear and the sun is shining. I just wish I felt more comfortable in my home. I wish I did not get so annoyed by the mess that surrounds me all the time. I despise house cleaning, particularly when I am fighting used tissues and sawdust, from my daughter's cold and my husband's woodwork respectively.
I don't want to think of any of it. I can't use my studio because it is cold and there is a ping-pong table in the middle of it. I basically have too much clutter in my life and I feel no attachment to any of it. I struggle with the demon inside me which lures me to the desire to escape. To throw it all a way, to see my life as impoverished, because duties and chores seem constantly overwhelming.
Maybe I will never be happy.